We have found the STOP sign on this Journey!!

Hello everyone,

I have to admit that other than May 18th. the day I learned I had cancer....I have had the worst days on this journey since Thursday...my last fill up ...until yesterday.

I have always thought of my self as a positive, goal setter, hard worker and "Katie bar the door" type person, that with God's help I could tackle any mountain!! I hate to admit it but this mountain has been more than hard to climb! I just love how God continues to put people in my life and His hugs and gudiance I find so often in His word and devotional!! A couple of days ago in the devotional it said....God may send you a load to carry ...But never an overload!!! What sweet assurance that He is with me!!

I have felt there must be something wrong with me because, from 2 special friends in the medical field......I was told that their patients only needed a Tynold for the pain after the "fill-ups". I thought I had a high pain tolerance......now thinking I must have lost it along the way!! On the Aug. 3rd "fill up" I was taking 5 Percocets per day. I was encourage to reduce the amount. With huge pain the next 2 weeks I had cut it back to 3 a day. Something must be wrong with this picture......my pain level was not a 'headache' type pain! I'm sure a big part of the problem was not resting enough.....but sometimes you just have to work!

When I went in Thur. 17th, my Dr. said he would only write a prescription for 2 Percocets a day...that I should 'tough it out". I know where his heart was....but I knew where the pain was and I was read to find some one to break into his office and steal a prescription pad!!! The thought didn't last too long!! The next 3 days were awful. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach physically and mentally. Thankfully Michele and Derek came up to help Lloyd at the resort so I could rest. They even had friends that were visiting them for the week-end, that came with them. They jumped in and do all kinds of things.

I was suppose to have 3 more fill-ups after last Thursday.....with them being 2 weeks apart ...then wait for a month before the next surgery.....my body was yelling STOP.....I can't stand the thought or pain of any more fill-ups! My sister Linda, along with other family members were saying..... stop! Linda's comment was...."Surely everyone can tell you are a girl by now"!! Won't be any "Dollies" here....(never planned on it)....but hopefully sis....they will know I'm a girl!! Tee Hee!

So........ I called the Dr. yesterday morning and told him I was done. I explained how horrible the pain was while "toughing it out". He agreed that now was a good time to stop!! He has agreeded to work with me with a few more pills so I can get to the end! I'm scheduled Sept. 19th to take these "bear traps" off my chest and put the implants in!! That will be the second time in my life that I'm looking forward to surgery!!! (The other was the day of surgery to find out if the cancer was contained!! Thank you Lord that it was.

I'm still struggling with only 3 pills a day.....but mentally knowing I don't have to endure more 'fill-ups".....I have more strength just knowing there is a light at the end of this tunnel!! Michele is coming tomorrow to "catch me up" in the office'!! I'm doing the minimum each day....she is such a blessing.

Other good news.....if all goes well....we can still spend a few days back in Il. with family and friends before we head to Tx.

Well it's getting late...almost 9...my bed is calling for me!! Want to share with you a scripture verse God had waiting for me today. It's from a book called...Joy for a Woman's Soul....Promises to Refresh Your Spirit. (indeed it does)!! It is a gift from special friends Ken and Carol Smith and Wanda who take care of the Rockmount Cottages just up the street from us!! You will see the scripture below! By the way....if we are full here at Idlewilde....Rockmount is a great place to stay on the Big Thompson River!! :}

Praying angels around each of you tonight and in the days ahead!!

Loving Him and each of you,
Donna

I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. The will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, "They are my people," and they will say, "The LORD IS OUR GOD"!!